:: jotting the lines ::

I must admit that I have been very lazy to blog ever since i started work. I was struggling with my new job as it is not what I have expected. My major responsibility is more towards the operation sides or you can call it a routine basis job. I decided to stay on and continue to show my enthusiasm on works, to be willing to learn as much as possible. Frankly speaking, I was quite reluctant to do some of the work. I suppose my attitude contradicts to what I have said earlier - To glorify God in everything I do.

There is some personal reason that upsets me about the job. I doubt if this is wise to blog here since she is also one of the readers. Not sure how she’d feel if I blogged it. Ah…maybe later or maybe not. I guess this is all started from my jealousy or enviousness towards her. *sigh* I’m still a human even though I want to walk in the righteousness of God. Perhaps I shouldn’t limit myself in seeing the present event only otherwise I would miss out and ruin the plan which is beautifully prepared by Him.
Okay, another mission statement - Live by faith and not by sight.

God is so real that He has been speaking to me by situation and sermons for these past 2 weeks.

Firstly, He speaks to me about determination to …ahem *clear throat*

Ok, I responded His message by joining the gym club that is in front of my workplace.

Secondly, He wants me

It’s another new day tomorrow.
New day that filled with love and hope.

It’s been a while since i last blogged.
Life has been very busy and my time is filled up with work, watching korean drama series, church & sleep…… Never get enough of zzzZzzZZzzz…..

Welcome back to the corporate world - greeting via SMS from my ex-boss.

I’m disappointed with my company facilities, I suppose every organization will have a full equipped pantry on each level, i.e. microwave, water cooler, crockery, cutlery and a fridge but apparently this is not the case at where I work. Have I been pampered by the previous work places? I asked myself. Argh…so how can I heat up my home cooked food? Or the company is encouraging employees to dine out?

I am not complaining. Am I? Do I sound like I’m complaining? No, it’s just expressing my disappointment only. Never mind the microwave, I can go over to my friend’s company which is next door to my workplace. Thanks to the unequipped facility at our pantry otherwise I won’t have a wonderful fellowship with my friend.

After all the household chores, I spent the rest of my day with my “dear” friends. They are so dear until they started to gunny sack me, bring back all the good- old- days story and each of us just tried to get it away by shooting one and another! I could only defend myself with the only weapon in me- pretend not listening by laughing it away and of course not giving in to any side. And what else they can use to attack me besides picking on my body (AGAIN!) - why vicky never seems to loose weight or quote my words “i want to loose weight” but i was never really serious about it, I’m not determined enough to do that.

“Hey, Min Jie (my chinese name) why ar? U know u told us u want to loose weight, but I didn’t see any changes in you. Many years already, u know? ” Kim grinned.

I know, I know…. I remembered I said it since 1995, and it’s coming to a decade now!!!

I lost my weight at a time but I gained it back when I wasn’t too watchful. They called it a yoyo effect. I even bounced up to 76kg whilst my stay at Melbourne, that was a tremendous one at its peak and probably it was due to the food consumption that I took, I was so indulged with food, I ate impulsively…It is an eating disorder I discovered later. I was very stressed in between my studies and work. I had to juggle both or otherwise I’d jeopardise my academic perfomance but if I lost my job I couldn’t sustain either. I tend to put anything into my mouth, munching the food would make me feel secured.

I learnt a lesson here - I have not been taking care of my body, the temple of God. (1 Co 3:16)

Rev. Ong preached on the sermon entitled: Places to Go, Things to Do today in the evening service. I sense the Holy Spirit is speaking to me when I relate the message to what my “dear” friends has said to me earlier.

Especially, when pastor gave this example “awwww i wanna loose weight, but I love food too.”

God, you’re so real! This is exactly my line! But I felt so awful when You pronounce my line to the public (or me). Looking back to the past will not bring me any future. Ok, I am going to do this now - I will not nurse my past, I will not curse my past and I’ll not rehearse it, I’ll let God reverse it by corporating with Him - to do what is right (excercise) and eat the right food.
I will be determined this time.

Is it a vow? Did I make a vow?

Ok now, if I start to play my part; you shall do the same by following the rules below.

FRIENDS,
Please do not insult my body anymore!
I do not fall into the obese category.

Please do not use anymore reverse psychology on me, it doesn’t work!
Don’t you realise your strategy is failed since it was never succeed for the past 5 years.

I have no idea how do I share this with you; my lame friends even have asked me to go and look for a job that they they think best suits with my asset - phone sex operator. OMG….
Frankly speaking my voice is really sweet on the phone. Moreover I have the gift in switching Beijing Mandarin to Taiwanese Mandarin or even Malaysia’s Mandarin accent (that’s the worst - I won’t speak it), thus they always like to comment that they like to hear me on the phone instead. >_<

You know what hurts me the most?

“Hey, you know…people wish to hear your voice and they are really attracted to your sweet voice. But you better not let them see you for goodness’s sake. Leave them good impression or else they will be disappointed.”

and what’s more ridiculous is :-

“Hey, you have a sweet voice and I’m sure you’ll do great in phone sales,” said the manager at an interview.

my reply was, “What? You mean I can’t do better in F2F and be limited in phone sales only?”

How do I put my foot down, show them my unhappy face?
Why can’t they treat me with dignity?!?!?!

i don’t expect many comments, many of u are either lurkers or “i don’t care!”
perhaps the message is not delivered at the right channels.

p/s if you come across to think i know this bunch of friends from the Internet means you’re shallow minded. I know them for 10-20 years from birth - school - uni.

i just can’t wait to share the joy with you!
2 months wandering in the wilderness- After all the crying, weeping and complains to God, I finally receive the good news today. I’m offered to work as a e-Commerce executive.
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Author added: the title may sound fancy, i wouldn’t know what is covered if i was not briefed about my job duty. I’d be servicing corporate online accounts and to acquisite new corporate accounts.

I attended 3 tests prior to the interview, it’s a normal recruitment process for bank. I don’t think I have scored well in IQ, but did well in the critical thinking. The question I answered to the essay was this - “What are the criterias you would use to evaluate a company for which you hope to work for”.

I wish to take this time to thank all who have prayed for me. Your concern, your love and your patience is very much appreciated. opps, and your H-U-G-S too! Thank you ^.^