:: jotting the lines ::

My mood seems to be in a roller coaster mode lately, especially this past 2 nights. I attended Youth Aflame meeting last night at church, it was my first night after 2 years of absence. I just thought of open up myself and go for this youth service. I used to attend youth service back in Melbourne’s church and I considered myself a frequent attendee there. I realised there was something change in my mindset, a good change to my surprise. If I could attend the youth service there, why can’t in my mother church? I did grumble about our church youths are always clinged to themselves and left the new comers alone, not on the first night…but on the following gatherings. I always think I’m one of the victims since they are not just myself complaining it. I felt things are slightly changed in the youth meeting now, or perhaps my perception towards the group are changed? Instead of waiting for people to care for you, nurse you, spoon feed you; stand up and start greeting each other, shake someone’s hand, say a few words to bless people, hug them (male with male, female with female - a hug oftem make one’s feel warm), if you have their mobile phone number you can also send them a SMS to show your appreciation of their presence. I am sure both parties will be blessed by doing so.

I hope I am not preaching, I’m just telling what I have been practising.

So why was I down? I sneeze again! The throat irritation is a symptom of getting flu. OMG, I don’t want to be sick again. I now make a declaration statement to whatever sickness trying to distract me from leading a good health, “I COMMAND YOU - ILLNESS STAY FAR FAR AWAY FROM ME! DO NOT GET CLOSE TO ME!!! FLEE!!”

I sound spiritual eh? Well, try and get sick for 2 months continuously (God forbids) and see how you feel? I assure you will hate it as sickness will drain you out.

Goodnight as I am knocking off to bed!

yoohoo!
Did you see my newly made header? So convinced to say “Vicky is beautiful”…kakakaka….
I know I am not only beautiful but photogenic also, it is an undeniable fact! haha

So have I said - I tendered my resignation letter on Tuesday. I felt the absolute calmness in heart, knowing that I have made the right decision at the right timing now. God is loving, He never fails. I have learnt a great yet not painful lesson (Thank God!!) through out the past few weeks. I was so eager and tempted to leave the workplace because I didn’t like its job functions, I didn’t like what I do. I was even reluctant to learn new things as the sickness had often dragged me down. I was upset about some mistakes I did, I questioned myself was I too dumb to complete my tasks or was I too careless or useless to fulfill my responsibilities. There were all kinds of negative thoughts attacking me. I tend to be more irresponsible to myself as the more I focus on the negative sides which I discovered later. The little voice was whispering to me,

“Is ok, you’re sick. No one would blame you for doing wrong. Didn’t you say you don’t like the job anymore? Quit….just quit…Is ok that you leave without a job. What for do you work still when you’re sick?”

I just kept hearing words like you’re weak, sick, ill… I was really tempted to leave as you can read from my previous blog. Blogging also serves its purpose to trace back your thoughts, the journals you/ I write can be very silly at times. It reflects our emotions, our thoughts or even our foolishness.

But before I handed the resignation letter long ago, I received an TXT msg from my cell group leader. She txted there, “Give thanks to the Lord for your job now. Go in the right timing, give your best in all you do. So only God can entrusts us for bigger things.” Amen! The words saved me from being foolish. I claimed on the words and really did my best even though mistakes still happened. Thank God now I am offered with a better job prospects.

A lot of us always wonder about God’s presence especially during their needy time.

” Where are you God? Answer me please…”

I realised it was my focus on the problems, the issues that hid away God’s voice. My problems seemed to speak louder than His voice. If only we soften ourselves and humbly come before Him, He shall reveal Himself to us.