:: jotting the lines ::

It is always the case that I cannot blog what I want. What I want to blog and what I can blog doesn’t really drive.

Especially we are talking about the people at this age, they are so well-exposed to the Internet. The distance is just a few clicks away. Who knows somebody is googling your name and trying hard to find out more about you? Ooooo…you have been stalked! Better watch out.

I have started using Internet since 1996, reason was to keep in touch with my ex-classmate the guy that I liked . He was leaving to UK to continue his high school and tertiary education. I was just Year 9 (Form 2) that year. Back then, almost everybody from his class & my class knew I was crazy about him. Gosh, why was that always the case?

No No….that’s not true. Anyway, he stayed only for 2+ years in Chong Hwa. I did not even know when he flew off to UK after that. Instead of the initial intention of keeping in touch with him electronically, I ended up chatting with the whole world. I even had a dedicated phone line to connect to the Internet. One of TM marketing strategies to increase their sales was giving out secondary phone line for free. Don’t ask me about the bill ‘cuz I don’t want to freak you out and you come and blame me for giving you a heart attack. Well, it will definitely give my dad one if all of these bill come at one shot. The dedicated line was disconnected last year, no more paying shit to the telecompany.

I don’t have a exact subject for today’s post. It is just more or less a combination of my past and add a little hope to find the people I had lost touch with. Out of so many people, I do miss this girl - Azlina (Tapai). She was my first cyber friend, a malay lady. We knew each other in Freetown chatroom, now known as Freetown @ Weird Town. Back then sending a message will takes around 10sec up to 1 min to get your page refreshed, the busier the traffic the slower you got the message. Anyway, that’s not my main point.

I got to know a lot of adults friends through her, I was told even this Pahang royal chap was having fun in there too. Both of them fell in love later but the ending was sadly to say, he met an accident and died. Tapai took very long tme to recover from her loved one’s death. It was only a few years later she met her true love, a Swedish man - Lars from the Internet. My friendship with Tapai was established from the Internet and later transformed into solid friendship in real life. Both of them even paid visit to my house when they got engaged. I still remember we served them with kuih ubi kayu that my mom just made. They have invited me to attend their wedding ceremony in Tapai’s hometown. I was too young to travel so I did not go.

After her wedding ceremony, Tapai flew to live with her husband Lars at Sweden. We still talked to one another when she just moved there. Later only I found out her age (36+) when she told me she’s pregnant. She was nervous as being a high risk pregnancy. Man, my jaw almost dropped when I know about her age. I never thought I would have a so adult to be your good friend. And all the while this close friend of mine was so caring and protective over me. You know, true friendship exist in the Internet.

She would email me of her pregnancy, tell me that she was eating cucumber, which is totally forbidden as a taboo in her family’s culture. Pregnancy was over, new child was born. She sent me pictures of Jasmine. Aww gosh, she is so adorable from the picture I see. I guess she is 6 or 7 years now.

Jasmine, I know I owe you one big present. Tapai (Azlina) did bring her to visit me again last year. But my elder sister…*argh* Was she ignorant or what? Sis told her I was studying in Australia. My sister did not even ask for her email address, number to contact. At first I thought it was a hope and I was jumping for joy because she came and visited me. Then my hope was crashed when my sis said she had left without any contact details. Can you imagine how I feel now?

I am not angry at my sister. I am just very disappointed of all that had happened.

I couldn’t even remember my hotmail password, and thus they have suspended my account. It is a total slash of me finding her again. I tried finding back the cards you gave me, but how come there isn’t left any contact details? >_< I have been trying so hard to google their name, even combination of "jasmine lars" "azlina lars", Lars used to work for Ericsson. I also have tried "lars ericsson" but it's so useless as Lars is only a middle name. Jasmine's surname will never be Lars. Argh, I am clueless. The more I think about not able to find them, the more reasons I can think of to blame my elder sister for her stupidity and ignorance. She knew we were close, then why didn't she ask for a phone number?? Why it was my elder sister that opened the door? Why wasn't my mom or my dad?

Yes, Ina...I made it to Australia for studies. Dream came true. How nice if I could hug you now and tell you I have made it!!!

I really hope if ever she or her husband type her name 'tapai' 'azlina' 'lars' 'jasmine' as keywords in Google, then they shall find me, the cheerful, jovial, panther gal "Vicky Au Yong" from Setapak.

Google, would you perform a miracle for me?