Disappointing moments
I never had a good relationship with my mom before. Why not?
It always turn out to be a disaster or fire warring when each time we start to have conversation. If I was asked “Did you give your best to be a daughter?”
The answer is ‘No’. I do not know how to start a conversation as she is extremely defensive towards every word I say. So do I. My mom is self-pity type, she always tells us she is not worthy. She always say she is not educated therefore she does not know how to express herself well in the right word. But I denied the reason she gave.
Just a while ago we had dinner together, it was supposed to be happy yuppy time we can spend together but it turned out to be another lukewarm silent war again.
We were making fun with my dad’s curly hair, sis, dad and I were all laughing of the jokes we cracked. Then she just turned us off and said ‘He must have liked some girl out there’. Gosh, how can she say that? Even his daughters believe dad just want to change his outlook once a while. So I said ‘Why are you so serious about it?’
The reply she gave was ‘Yes, everything I say is wrong…and everything you say is right.’ I was stunned by her reply.
No matter how great I treat others, how righteous I think I was; I would still think I fail as a Christian.
Shame…it’s a shame.