:: jotting the lines ::

My mom is going away again this year, guess she won’t be back until next year. Thus for safety reason, she had her medical check-up yesterday before flyng off. Just to make sure her health status is good enough for her to stay in a foreign country. So, she asked me to accompany her to the clinic and get her results explained by the GP.

I followed her into the consultation room and quietly sat down to listen to the result. As the doctor go through her profile, I realised her thyroid screen is slightly higher than the normal and her lipid profile doesn’t reflect good too. So then the doctor explained her moodiness and frustrations over some small matter are due to thyroid. All these while I only know my mom through another angle - fussy, particular, hard to please, sensitive etc. I did not realise it is mostly contributed by her hormones until explained by the doctor. And the reason she always complained about her neckache, shoulder ache, back ache are also partly because of bad cholesterol.

I always thought her bittnerness was cultivated by her poor childhood or the post-WW2 effect. And being her daughter listening to her grandmother stories sometimes made me feel ‘why can’t you just stop whinning and complaining…move on please, we are living in a different century and different pace now.’
I hate it when she became over sensitive. Yes, you may see me being ungrateful. Perhaps I am really not a grateful child.

I felt guilty after listening to the doctor’s explanation. And even felt ashamed of what I have thought or judged about her. Time will pass, and I may be throwing tantrums to my kids or family when I get old. I may be even worse than my mom. It was a revelation that I have never thought of - Through physical body change will make one feel uncomfortable at times. I know I will burp if I have too much acid in stomach. I know I will get headache if I don’t drink enough water. I know I will burst my anger off if one don’t allow me to rest or sleep. But I did not know each organ will release some sort of chemistry if not functioning properly and it will cause discomfort to the body. Of course each ‘chemistry’ is given a medical term - ie HDL Cholesterol/ LDL Cholesterol etc. It’s after all a chain effect, argh… Nevermind, i guess it is still not too late to know.

Hmm…Sorry mom. I will try to know you from another new angle.