:: jotting the lines ::

Then you take another 6 years completing your primary school.

You attend secondary school when you’re 13. And by age 17 or 18 you attend college then complete your undergraduate course in some university by age of 21-23 depending on what course you take. Almost everybody of your peers walk the similar path as you do if they are not too poor to continue their studies or got flung from school.

You spent a good time with your dear friends from kindergarten til you graduated from universities. Each one of them at different phases left you with different memories, sweet or bitter, as they crossed your path.

I know this whole process is called life and I should continue to lead a life-long learning journey. It is quite difficult to accept the fact that some of my friends who are same age as me are getting married soon. Of course I expect their kids are on the way, sooner or later I will hear them calling me “Aunt Vicky” although I already heard some of the kids calling me from church or my colleague’s ones. Well, there is nothing wrong to be greeted with “Aunt Vicky“, is just I would be reminded that I am aging and still being single if the greetings are from my friends’ (same age group) children.

Why can’t our lives be as systematic as how we used to study together? Guess it’d be too boring then.

Just few days back, my colleague offered me to stay overnight at her place as it was quite late when I arrived to KL from Singapore. In the middle of night sleeping, I was awakened by my colleague’s son - Damien as I heard him crying,

“I want milk…I want milk…”

I thought to myself, “Why didn’t he ask his mom?”

“I want milk …I want milk..” He crying insistently for milk.

“Ok. I will make one for you“, said to him but still left thinking was it because my colleague was too tired to get up thus he came out from the room and asked for milk.

“Damien, where is the milk bottle? I can’t make one if you didn’t give it to me.” I asked the 2-year-old boy.

I was surprised by him going back to his room and handed me his milk bottle.

So I rinsed his bottle before making him milk. I poured some cold water and mixed it with the hot one to make it lukewarm. Then, I put 3 and a half scoops of milk formula and shaked them well before I let him drink. I was still thinking the same question, “Where is the mommy?” “Damien probably thought I was his mom since he can’t see me in dark“. So I went back to sleep after handling him the milk.

There are many questions popping up my head after this. But there is one I will find no answer until I become a mother.

“Will I not make noise or complain if my baby wakes me up every morning for milk or to change diapers for him?”

“Will I still be doing out of my maternal love like I did for Damien without any complaints?”

I don’t know, I really don’t know the answer.

Perhaps God is still testing my patience and the readiness to get married.